gagaloo chum ^^

 It's no big deal to fall in love...no matter what your standards are. It doesn't matter if you're older or younger,richer or poorer to the person you love.What matters is how you feel for him.It is good to love.It's better to be loved.But it's the best if the person you love,loves you back.


But loving someone who doesn't love you back is in a different situation.The type of love you're the only one who's giving everything yet what you take is pain&hurt. Your sacrifices are like effortless to him & it doesn't matter to him if you're hurting simply because  he doesn't value you and you don't matter to him at all. Isn't it hard to look dumb just to prove how much you value him yet he's there laughing at what you're doing without knowing that you're doing that stupidity  and dumbness  for him to realize how much you loved him. Don't you realize that that person is not worth the risk? Don't you feel ashamed?Others are laughing at you and says mean words..But there you are still hoping to be loved back.




I actually experienced the same when I met this guy,..2 years younger than me 3 months ago.At first,I'm just idolizing him because he  joined Mr. Campus.. During their practices,I'm watching him even when our class teachers are having their lectures. I do not even know his name then but his face is fmiliar.. I told my bestfriend about this guy and said that she's also idolizing him..


One time while watching them,I shout at him during his turn..He just ignored me and continue to ramp.I'm so embarassed because of  what he showed. But I did not give up that easily.Its the first try you know?.haha :D.
That afternoon,while i was texting his classmate,a new # appeared..That's the beginning of our communication..


He said at his second text that he wanted me,Im shocked because it's the first day that I've idolized him.Isn't it unfair that he's only saying those sweet words because he knew that I liked him. Well, when he said can i be his girlfriend,I asked him if he's serious and texted me if dont like then it's OK.


Is that an appropriate answer? But of course,I'm not that easy to get type,I tested his determination if he is really willing..Yeah..I admit I'm falling for him,my classmates cant believe that Im doing great towards him. I let them read his sweet messages..Few days after,he asked me again that question.I again said  those  words (ARE YOU SERIOUS?)and there goes his answer again.. Isn't that chaotic? He's always texting me, but he's not talking to me personally. I got my courage to talk to him in person February 04,2011..yeah .we talked. He saidthat he's being jealous with my guy bestfriends and he wanted me to avoid them,I said ok............. If that's what you want,then let it  be. That was the first and the last time we have our serious talk about us.




February 08,2011--pre-pageant day... during his turn in showing his talent which is dancing,my classmates observed that the only person he's looking to was me. I feel so special ♥ After doing his talent he went near us and  pinch my tummy & gave me a sweet smile♥ * _ * My classmates saw what he did,and keeps on teasing us. During the announcements of the candidates who made it to the next level I can see that he's nervous that even forgot to smile...With my so thick face,I shouted loudly" GAGALOO,SMILE ^_^" 
 ( I call him GAGALOO and he calls me CHUM)
   >>GAGALOO CHUM ^^
He gave me his sweetest smile together with the voice saying that he's one of the candidates who will again show their talent at the pageant day :)) I'm so happy for him ^_^




I thought that was the start of our mutual understanding.. But I was mistaken .. 




The next morning....because of a simple  joke ...everything changed....








I said sorry in text. I tried to call him but he's not answering my calls. :( I tried my best to explain what my joke means but he didn't listen and said mean words to me... When i read his text saying ' hindi naman kita girlfriend para umasta ng ganyan ah?''Tears started to fall in my eyes.. How come he said those words? Did he think what pain will it give me? I cried really .. Really hard :'( 






That afternoon.. I'm not expecting him to text me but he did ..He's asking if I'm at school already..I said why? Are you waiting for me? I never thought that that message will cause him pain again .Oh ..im sorry gagaloo :(




The day of the pageant came and I'm still hoping that he will recognize my presence or even smile to me just to know that he's not angry to me anymore.. You know what I did? I went at their dressing room.. I said my sorry personally but its like he didn't hear a thing Jjust like im not there. im not existing .. The  worst part was that my classmates saw what happened and feel pity for me . And that's the thing i hate the most ..I dont want them pity me .. :(




My excitement in watching the pageant vanished..I was thinking what did I do? He's not smiling .He's not looking at me . He doesn't even know im cheering him up :( Its like my world's seems to crash that time ..




The most embarrassing part was when I shouted " gagaloo,smile :')'' but it seemed like he didnt hear me and just ignored me .. I wanted to melt that moment :[ jeez!! what am i doing ??




I thought ignoring me was the last thing he will do to me. But I was again mistaken .. I heard her mom say'' yan kase..text ka ng text sa malanding babaeng yan...yan tuloy namemental blocked ka !!!!'' Hearing those mean words made me cry hard :'( But because im stupid....I didnt endure what i heard ..I pretend  NUMB :( 
I even congratulate him for winning :( Good thing he said thanks ' :)




Yeah ! I was badly hurt . But thats not a reason for me to give up ..I continue texting him ..continue my sorries ... Im exerting efforts to please him but seems all of those efforts are effortless to him :'(


I cant remember the exact date but I said sorry to him personally and  asked him if we can still fix it..You know what he said ..OK....Atleast I was given new hope :))




I thought everything between us is already alright but I was mistaken ....again.......His classmates who are also my friends always telling me that i was his first love and he's crying whenever we had our misunderstanding ..<weh?di nga?>




I can feel that he feels something for me..yeah!! That's true..I can see it in his eyes.. cause I see him looking at me secretly sometimes...I tried to prove myself that I was correct..February 23,2011,when I borrow my friends boyfriend and let him  embrace me knowing that he's looking at me.....
You know what he did??He hug her girl bestfriend so tight ..kissed her in the cheeks.. And let me know what he's doing .. Ang umuwing talunan..Ako.....................................






My feelings for him began to fade when I learned that he likes my classmate who's so close to me..They said that's why he's angry to me because I'm close with the person he likes..


Yeah..You are right .He is a 'bi'..But I dont care ..I love him ! I love him !! I love him !!!






Each of us gets tired,isn't it? I get tired too.. Not of loving him but of sacrificing... 






Im shocked when he texted me one night which says "???"..Unfortunately I do not have a load at that night ..I do not have a money to get a load.I was a jerk! jeeeeeeeeezzzzzzz!!!!!!!!!!




I loaded so early in the morning to text him.. What made me real shocked was when i read his message saying HU U? I learned that the person im texting to was her girlfriend named Tricia .... 




The next night her mom texted me..saying''tigilan mo na nga ang anak ko shaira ..istorbo ka sa buhay namin''That was the  time I said I promise I'll stop!!! 






I admit I still love him but its time for me to move on...Maybe that person is not worth the risk.Maybe he's not    
worth it..Maybe I just need to let him go and set myself free to avoid pain....




As of now....I'm still waiting for him to online but whenever he's online he just ignores me..That's why I removed him from my friends to totally forget him :(




I need to do this for my self...I dont need to insist myself to someone who doesnt love me back.There are lots of fish in the sea.right? 


I thought that was an easy thing to do but until now I'm waiting for him..Yeah he came back..I don't know what he have eaten but one night he texted me and said SORRY...That was May 18.I said ''whats that sorry for?? He said sorry ,sinaktan na naman kita ..i thought everything will be alright but every time everything's going fine,kinabukasan non ,disaster again :(( 


He courted me again i was about to answer YES but he said ''wag ka ng sumagot ..alam ko na iba na mahal mo..di mo na ko mahal..mas mahal mo na ung dexter mo :@ ''Im sick of his attitude..  I just let him do what  he wanted to do ..


For now Im moving on ..but I still love him ...I will not let myself be hurt again :))


ayaw nia ..di wag nia :P






I sang a song to his friends.....
                         ♫ pakisabi na lang na mahal ko siya,
                          di na baleng may TRICIA na siya,
                          pakisabi wag siyang mag.alala,
                         di ako umaasa,
                        alam kong ito'y malabo..
                        di ko na mababago,
                        gayon pa man,pakisabi na lang ♫




Someday,I know when I'll go back to our school again,I will have the chance to see him..I wish that day would come for me to realize if he's really worth it.. How I wish ! :))




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                                          He was mine but not really..
                                          I never really had him so..
                                          I never really lost him..
                                          I guess this is how we always be..
                                          I had HIM..
                                          He had ME..
                                           But then again..
                                           THERE'S NO REALLY US :'(

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♥♥♥~you will always be my GAGALOO 

        & I will always be your CHUM ~♥♥♥

                                         --gagaloochum^_^

                                         feb.o4,2o11♥

i never thought :(

My second guy bestfriend was my classmate since grade 3... we're not that close at that time..we're just ordinary friends ..but when we reached our high school we've been so close ..super close ^^


Yeah..I admit I like him ♥ but I never really had the courage to say it to him. I dont wanna look dumb and i dont wanna lose our friendship :))


We've became super close when we were in third year..notebook nia .notebook ko din ..lapis nia ..lapis ko din ..pagkain nia ..pagkain ko din .. pera nia ..pera ko din .. problema nia .prinoproblema ko rin :) that's how close we were ..


He's my baby .. i feed him ..i cut his nails .. i comb his hair .. i fix his clothes .i do his assignments..projects..researches.. i give him what he want....


I dont expect him to do something in return ..seeing him happy is enough for me to smile :))


We reached the SENIOR YEAR ..last year of being a high school.... we're still close ...


There's no problem in him naman ee .. Its OK for me to give him what he want :))


But i never thought that the guy I treated as my baby and my bestfriend will cause me PAIN ...


April 1,2011 -- graduation ball ... we were force to dance ..<bawal daw kasi ang K.J>
then our teacher told us"LADIES CHOICE" ..girls will choose from the group of boys whom to dance....


I chose him .. Im already holding his hands when he saw one of my pretty classmate and said he will dance with her ..And so ..I let them. ...Im so disgusted....What even made me angry with him is that he told me to bring out my cam and take a  picture of them ...<jeeeeeezzzz!!!kapal nam mukha !!!!>




I cried .. When asked by my classmates why...I didnt let them know...Idont want them to pity me .. :(
I cried not because Ive been embarassed but because the person who made me feel that was my very bestfriend :(


When we're about to go home.,,.He approached me and even tried to get my balloon .Without even knowing how much pain he gave me :(


That night I slept at my friend's house ..I cant keep it myself that's why I told them the truth :( They comforted me and stopped me from crying :'(




The next day we (the seniors have an outing)when we went back at my friend's house where i slept..some of my classmates were there ..Including him !


I pretend that I'm not seeing him..I dont give any attention to him !! I have lots of baggages that i am carrying when he offered his help ..He carried my shoes and tried to be near me but im not talking to him !!


We arrived at our outing place still not talking to him .... He borrowed my digicam and said"Patingin ng mga pictures kagabi.." <jeeezz!! ganto na ba kakapal am mukha neto ?>


My friends noticed his changes and said to me that ''siguro naisip nya ung ginawa " .....


I bought a cheese cake for me to eat ..Then he's looking at me.. I cant try to be angry with him.. I called him and said' Lika hati tayo' ..Again.. That was it .. Bati uli kami :))




Un :)) I noticed his changes too ^^ he's always beside me..trying to make me smile :)) I have a wide understanding ..I know that's his way of saying sorry :)


'apology accepted sir :)




right now ..we're still having our communication with each other..Nagpapatulong pa nga manligaw ee :))






♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥








--♥♥this is us--♥♥

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥








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senxa na wala ako gana magsulat ee.. but i promise(to myself)gagawa ako ng magagandang blog ..kahet walang magbasa at mag.idolize..haha :DD

seatmates ^^

Have you ever had a guy bestfriend ? It feels so good to have one.right ? Someone who takes care of you,someone who's always there for you,someone who treats you special....
To be honest, I have a lot of guy friends,BUT  there are 2 boys who are so special to me ♥:))


One of them is a transferee of section B,that even in just a short period of time,he treated me as his bestfriend just because we've been seatmates :)) <awwwwww!!!> I remember the first time we talked....(at that time there are criminology students from a university and taught us about drugs..well we're not that eager to learn bout their topic thats why we talked a lot ...One of them noticed that were getting bored that's why,he let us exercised & my ''seatmate''makes landi landi to me,like punching me..but not that sakit naman :))


After their teaching,we need to go back to our room again ... When im about to stand ,Im shocked when he guggled my nose so long and keeps saying the words''ang cute cute mo!!!!!!!!!!!"  That time we're not bestfriends pa :O


That very night....he said can we be bestfriends ? I said ... why not? Then he suggest from that day on we'll be calling each other BHEST<chicky right???>haha :)) pangjejemon ^^
Good thing there's facebook..we're always chatting with each other...I remember the exact date (OCT.26,2010)when he said the words ''ILOVEYOU"..I was so shocked I dont know what to say :/ Then he said he want me and he wanted to court me.I dont know what to say .. I dont know what to answer..All i know in my mind was that he must be kidding or the one that im chatting with was her girlfriend...


I know it's just a JOKE ..but i BELIEVED every word that he've mentioned...Then few days after...he said he was SORRY .. he was DRUNK that time and out of mind <gggggrrrrrr!!! who the hell cares?> I said its OK..though deep in me i wanted to cry out loud :'(


Days passed by and the friendship that we've started was like FORGOTTEN at all...We see each other at school,I'm always smiling to him but he's ignoring me just like nothing between us  happened ...sucks :/  I was badly hurt..I want to slap him but I know am not at the right place to do what i wanted !


That was it !! I thought everything between us ended .... But in the late afternoon of February 16,2011...he'd waited for me to go home ... my friends said that he waited for me so long :)) I'm not expecting  him to do that ..


I saw him and he said ''best...can we talk???'' I said sure ! :) He talked to me and cried because her girlfriend broke up with him ... I want to comfort him but I'm afraid ,,thinking that others will see us ..Im shocked when he invited me to go to their house ..( What the hell will i do there ?) I said it's too late and I have to go somewhere ... Im shocked when he grabbed my hand and hold it so tight that i can feel the pain .. :/


i knew i have to understand him because he's drunk :> again !! urgh >.<  We we're about to cross the street (with  him holding my hand ) when her girlfriend was walking and  shouting at him(hoi..kanina ka pa namin hinahanap !!) My bestfriend's bestfriend grabbed me  so fast and pretend that we're lovers ..duh!! i can see the disappointment at my bestfriends face and I want to explain to her girlfriend what had happened but no words can come out from my mouth .. His bestfriend join me going home:( atleast i found a hero in him :))


I dont want to forget him just because of what had happened ..... Im still hoping that we can return our old friendship :)) But as days passes by .... that HOPE is slowly vanishing :(  knowing that the day of our graduation is fast approaching at that time :((((




The day of our graduation arrived... I was so sad not being able to talk to him ...I was again SHOCKED knowing that we got the same special award "MOST FRIENDLY'' haha :DD After the graduation rites we took pictures together with my friends .. My sister wanted to take a picture of me and him but im shy to join him ...And so.I went home...... INCOMPLETE !!!


That night was our graduation ball also :)) ♥_♥ I was expecting to have fun :)) Yes .. I do have fun but not really ..ahehe ^^


We're having our talks(me&my friends)when my bestfriend went in our table and i thought he was going to dance me ..but i was disappointed because he danced one of my smartest classmate .. He then again went at us and danced my bestfriend(girl bestfriend) and again danced with one of my friends... I wanted to run and cry :( when he was dancing with my bestfriend im watching them ..she saw me and said something to him ....When out of the blue,he went at my front and said''BEST,"and lend his hand to me :)) <awwwwww!!>


I dont know what to feel ..I was so nervous ..flattered..tensed . clumsy ..Jeeeeeezzzzzzz!!!


when we're having our danced .. he said to me the words that ive been waiting for .......
""BEST,IM SORRY " 'kanina pa kita gustong isayaw pero nahihiya ako baka tanggihan mo .(jeez!if he
 only knew!) i dont know that he's been observing me pala ..he said that all the things we've had together .
wee :)) I was supposed to be happy but i dont exactly feel that emotion! I looked at his eyes ... I knew in myself he wanted to do something ..(ok ..ill be honest..he wanted to kiss me )) but im avoiding him ..id called for my classmate to take a picture of us just to avoid his kiss :)) ahaha :D




At the end of our dance ..yes i knew he wanted to hug and kiss me .. but im afraid >.< because their are lot of people there .. He said ..BEST....THANK YOU ♥ :))




I cant believe that we can still fix our friendship ...Although its the last time that we'll see each other again ....atleast we've given the chance to say sorry to each other !!


I Love My Bestfriend So Much ♥♥




i hope someday...when we see each other again ..he will still remember me as the girl who fall inlove with him secretly  and the girl who've been her BESTFRIEND ♥_♥




that's it :)) ahaha :D


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so this is us ^^
ahaha :D